Standing back.

Lately I've been letting your venture on your own. I try and let you work on walking through the sandbox on your own so you can get some practice. I watch from a distance as you laugh, point and babble to the older kids on the playground who so graciously let you into their forts. You love to watch them and listen to them tell each other what to do.
I hold myself back when you want to walk ahead of me and discover things first.
I stop myself from doing things for you, like putting a lid on, closing a door, or stacking blocks when you want to do them on your own. I want to help you, but you know how to do it. I need to let you learn on your own.

Sometimes it makes me sad when you run ahead and don't want to hold my hand. But you still point and look at me in amazement when you find something new.
You still run to me with wide open arms and laugh when I pick you up and swing you around.

I knew this was coming, ya know, you growing up.
Everyone warned me it was going to come.
But there isn't anything I can do to stop it.
And I don't want to stop it.
Even though it's hard that I'm not ALWAYS right there with you, I'm still always right behind you.
I love you so much Tae.
I'm so glad that you can run and laugh and play without having to have me right by you all the time.
You are comfortable with yourself, the world and what you are doing.
I hope you are always like that.
You are beautiful and smart and perfect.
You should never have to feel uncomfortable.
You are so you. That is all you need to be.

I also hope you always remember that sometimes when your dad and I do step into your life, it's because we want to show you a good way, a successful way to do something, to over come something.
I pray that I will know the right times to step in and when to let you learn on your own.
We will always be right behind you if you fall, or if you find something new.
But unless you need help, we will be right behind you, standing back, watching you learn and live.

You are my favorite Buns.
My sweetest Tae.
My loviest love.

Remember that we love you.
Love Mommy
 You started your own rock collection on the back porch. So I grabbed a bowl to store them in.


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