Taegan's due date was originally January 11. And as it drew closer I got SO antsy, as I'm sure all first time mothers do. It was just after Christmas and I had nothing to do. On December 30 I had my membranes stripped (if you don't know what that means, look it up). After that I was so sure I was going to go into labor within the next 24 hours. So, naturally, I started looking up ways to help my body begin labor. Oils, jumping, walking, pineapple, golly... I don't even remember everything I tried. After a few days of no sign of labor I kinda gave up, but was nervous to get my membranes stripped again on the 6th of January. (It didn't hurt the second time :)) So after my second time we went to Panda Express, my excuse was that I needed to eat something spicy to start labor, but I didn't even order anything spicy. I'm so sneaky right? Later that day we went to Best Buy and bought a point and shoot camera so we wouldn't have to take our huge camera to the hospital whenever our baby girl came! After that we went to Cafe Sabor and I did order something spicy :).
A picture of me with our new point and shoot, lounging before we cleaned up and went out to eat. Lounging in Shane's shirt and yoga pants.
My handsome Shane at Cafe Sabor :)
Me at Cafe Sabor, excuse my pregnancy face.
When that didn't start labor we went to Walmart to buy an yoga ball. After bouncing on that at home for and hour and a HALF I finally started having contractions! On my way to the bathroom I grabbed a towel because all the sudden "water" flooded out. What ran through my head you ask... "OH MY GOSH MY WATER JUST BROKE!" After that my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. I was so excited! I called my mom, and my Sister-in-law Rae to ask if it was my water breaking. As is everything having to do with pregnancy and labor, everyone is different but they said that it sounded like it broke. So we got dressed (again, whenever I got home I immediately got into comfy clothes.) and headed to the hospital!
This is me, right before we left, this is around 8:30ish at night.
We checked into the hospital, they did a few tests to check if my water had broken... it hadn't. Yes that means what you think it means, if my water didn't break that means I peed all over my bathroom floor. Haha! The joys of pregnancy. At about 10:30 they sent us home because my water had not broken and I was not dilating. Lucky me, my contractions started getting really bad right before we left. We asked what to do to ease the pain (HA!) They suggested Tylenol, hot tub, heating pad...etc. So we went home, me shuffling all the way to the car. Right when we got home we got the tub ready. I soaked in there for forever, wanting to rip my uterus out every 3 minutes. After a long time, they were still super bad. I took Tylenol, used Lavender oil and a heating pad. We tried to go to sleep, and Shane was successful. I lay in bed with my uterus slowly descending into outer darkness every 3 minutes. Seriously, Highway to Hell.
At 3:00 in the morning I could not take it anymore. I wanted to call the hospital and order an ambulance because there was no way I was going to be able to walk to the car, climb in, get back out, and walk into the hospital. Somehow, I managed, not sure how, it's all kind of a blur. :)
I got in there, and my once "strong" desire to do a natural birth quickly diminished once they told me that after the past 5 hours of the worst pain I had ever felt, I had only dilated a HALF A CENTIMETER more. What the what?!
Then they said that they need to ask the doctor if they can keep me here. When they left the room, in my head I was like "I need to find a bike lock or some handcuffs because there is no freaking way I'm going home". When they entered the room I was prepared for a fight if they didn't let me stay. Luckily enough my ninja, crazy prego lady skills were saved, I was allowed to stay.
Next on the agenda, DRUGS!
Fentinol (spelling?) went in first, after I got the IV. I hate needles, but that night I loved them. I would have invited them to my birthday party, I would of thrown them a bridal shower (because needles get married often...). I loved needles that night. Even after just the Fentinol I felt immediate relief. Guess how fast I fell asleep. I couldn't tell you... too fast to remember much. I remember praising medical technology and drugs, smiling, and closing my eyes.
Later they woke me up for my epidural. I was somewhat scared for this one, especially since I didn't feel much pain anymore. But I got through it and it really didn't hurt, it didn't really even sting or pinch like he said it would. Guess what I did next? Haha. I slept. I don't even know what Shane was doing at this point... And I do recall texting my friends at one point that night... but who knows when.
I'm not sure if this was right after drugs or right after a small awakening they did so they could check my progress. So peaceful.
This is when they woke me up and said that I was getting really close and that I would be pushing soon. Shane told me to do a practice pushing face. This is it. Haha. Hopefully I didn't really look like that.
I'm thinking they woke me up around 10 (we were both really tired so we are not sure). They said they would call the doctor in and start setting things up, then we will start pushing. I could feel the contractions now, it wasn't pain though, it was just pressure. I could feel her slowly moving from my tummy down to my tailbone. It was the strangest sensation! It was really amazing that I could feel what was happening, but not feel the pain of it. Despite what a lot of people say epidurals do to you, I still felt so apart of what was happening. My legs weren't limp or anything, I could move them pretty well, I could feel her moving and everything. Around this time I started to feel a little nausea setting in. This was expected, but I was hoping for just a little bit, haha. I tossed a tiny bit up food up, and I felt great again!
The nurse and doctor came in. The doctor got set up and I asked him to NOT tell me if he was going to do an episiotomy because frankly... I just didn't want to know. He told me that he rarely does them because they usually end up cutting further than a tear would go. Okay :) that's fine! I was very calm, excited, and ready to push! I started pushing at 11:00. I loved it. As I said, I could feel her move through the birth canal. When I felt a contraction starting, I would tell the nurse and they (Shane and the nurse) would hold my legs and I would push as hard as I could! I was pretty good at it, they told me that! Thank goodness for prenatal classes! After only 20 minutes of an awesome labor, I saw my baby girl for the time.
January 7, 2012, 11:20 a.m. in Logan Utah, our baby was born.
She cried, naturally, but it was so beautiful. It definitely had not hit me what happened. (I'm not even sure it has yet. It just hits you every once in a while, usually while they are smiling at your or you are holding them while they sleep.)
It was the perfect moment. I looked up at Shane with such a smile.
Here she is. I felt a lot happier than I look.
When they took her to clean her off I just kept moving my head around all the nurses to get a glimpse of her. Shane was standing right by her, taking pictures. Thank goodness for him. Look at her :) she is so perfect. I think that was the best feeling in the world. Meeting a new person... someone who has not been touched or affected by anything. Someone who is half you and half the person you love most (well besides your new gorgeous creation). In these moments, there is no way to believe that there is no God. You really think that your body can just create such a beautiful thing? No. God's hand is so involved in these stories.
I've shown this picture before, and she was a few hours old her. But look at this. Just staring into each others eyes. I wondered what she would look like every night she was growing inside me, and now there she was, right on my lap. She had endless potential. And it was our job to help her grow to whatever she can be. Anything. Anything good. No bad feeling or thought went through my mind that day. She was perfect. And our family was complete.
When I was getting stitched up (didn't feel a thing), I talked to the doctor and nurse like they were my best friends. Frankly, at that moment, they were! We laughed and talked about how incredible it is, how they don't think any parent can wrap their mind around it so not to worry. I could not stop smiling and looking at Tae.
How did I feel after labor? THIRSTY!!!! During labor you can not drink water, so before you go to the hospital drink some! You can have popsicles and ice chips, but that is it. My lips were chapped and bright red from the popsicle I had at some point that night. I took a day or two to unchap those puppies! I felt kind of tired, but I had so much adrenaline that I didn't feel like sleeping.
After the picture of Tae was sent to everyone, and a few phone calls were taken by Shane, they wheeled us down to the Mother and Baby floor. It was weird to walk, for the most OBVIOUS reasons. I wanted to shower and clean my hair and stretch but I was worried about my "injury" so I withheld my desire until later. I did my hair in a new braid, because my old one was now non-existent. It was so fun to just hold my baby and see Shane holding her. My parents got there when we were still in the delivery floor, and stayed until they showed us how to give her a bath and the dolled her up. My parents left to give us some alone time.
I had such a wonderful birth experience. I know that natural birth is really popular and I think it is really cool! If you have done it than AWESOME, good job! I wanted to try it because I wanted to be a big part of the birth, but I felt that after finding out how painful it was that I would not be able to be a part of it, because pain was such a big distraction. After I had it, I did feel a big part of it. I wasn't out of it when it came time to push and I loved my labor. My doctor said that it is hard to try natural on the first try, because it usually takes so long for the body to progress during labor the first time. However, I don't think people who use drugs during it should feel bad at all! It is a great accomplishment all the same! Plus, you still carried the child for 9 months so we still really rock. So maybe I'll try for natural on the next baby, or... maybe not :). Haha.
I loved my labor and Tae's birth.
I love my Tae.
I love my Shane
I love my little family.
What a lovely story.
